part 2 of that bora thing

From the moment our feet hit the beach, there wasnt a single moment that we were'nt smoked out. I had already promised myself that i wont do any, for the fear of completely losing every bit of customs review i have managed to store in this 486style processor of a brain of mine. But the weed was packed in cigarette sticks--and with the dilemma of a recent smoker, the thing was impossible to resist as an oral fixation at least

Most of our time was spent sitting by this stretch of sand far from all the commerciallness of boracay. Just staring by the sea and talking among other things economics, nationalism and yoga. I finally had enough of this seriousness and said.."fuck that! bring out your guitar--and let me show you an interpretative dance". Nobody budged..too bad--it couldve been fun

But i still managed to make these sometimes intensely serious folks smile... Whenever i would overhear a familiar word that was part of a song lyric in their conversation- i would instantly sing to that tune...for instance

Guy: "Yeah, their have been so many changes that have been happening in this country"
Me(in my best david bowie impersonation): "Ch-ch-changes! timmmee to makkkee a change..ch-ch-changes!"

Girl: "I love this moment right now"
Me(ala kelly clarkson).. "you mean".."a moment like this, some people wait a lifetime..a moment like this"

i think they got amused at first and then later on got mildly annoyed ...its level was directly proportional by the corniness of every passing song

But hey, i was perfectly fine to just chill and be steady. So steady enough that i didnt put enough sunscreen on--even worse, i havent put them on properly. By the end of the day- i had white streaking lines all over my back, i concluded that i got this from the way i hastingly put on the lotion at my body.

Sadly, i had to leave a day earlier from the rest of the crew-work is a responsibility bitch i know. Despite that i havent done every activity that i planned to do when i was there-mostly cliched bora stuff like riding the flying fish, getting a henna tattoo and having my hair braided-i had such a blast. From all that smoke, im still trying to remember all the memories i spent there for 3 days. but i do remember hanging out with these cool people.

Just in case you- pippo, rico and shiela are reading this and are thinking that i got bored because i hardly joined in your conversations.. i didnt and i was either just too spaced out or thinking about what to eat-as evidenced by my constant questioning "what and when are we eating?"... i cant imagine hanging out with anyone else except you guys the next time i go ...but this time can we at least have all matching hennas before we leave! :)

part 1 of that beach thing

I am only writing this because people keep on bugging me to write about the bora trip i had a couple of weekends ago...normally, experiences like those are just too good to be represented in pixels. but here it is. part 1 of whatever

As most of my friends would attest, i would be the last person you would see in a beach-this will become obvious when you notice how pale i am. Its a combination of small nuisances that make me hate about it.- mostly its the sand being all over your body and your futile attempt to get rid off it. Its the same level of annoyance of getting glitter stuck on you. Sand and glitter--the most underrated scum of the earth.

"fuck you and your fucking early morning flight!"..those were the first words i said that morning when the rockstar called me to make sure that i was awoke by 5am. I got in the airport and met up with her and her friends, i already noticed one of the guys with a guitar in tow- now, this makes it interesting. As long as i have a pretentious silly moment where i get to sing ala jack johnson while im sitting by the beach--i would be fine

So, we stayed at this place not by the beachfront which was good for me and bad for everyone else-logistically, its just the right walking distance to completely shake off the sand so by the time you get there-the thought of it is almost tolerable. Someone shouted lets smoke..and thats where the fun started...


...more to come

before the valiums kick in

two not so random thoughts

1. people who put "(insert name here) is hating the new facebook layout" in their status messages need to take a pill and relax--99% of the world didnt really notice any difference

2. listening to belle and sebastians "the life pursuit" album on constant loop is guaranteed to at least make you crack a smile

lets see where it goes from here

hello blog, its been 2 weeks since my last post...

i've been wanting to update since, but a lot of things have been getting in the way--my attention span is now measured in seconds..everytime i sit down in front of my pc and login my blogger account, i decided to otherwise pursue...answering messages in my facebook, circling thru my itunes playlist or even worse, starting a game of minesweeper.

and theres other stuff thats been keeping me busy-the dreadful review, beating someone's high score in geometry wars and finishing my dvd backlog. I so far managed to finish the last season of the wire(pure genius!), the first season of space (i dont get what the fuss is about) and half a season of the tudors(im still on the fence).

i am currently trying to get over this dreadful cold thats been bugging the shit out of me since yesterday, it was so bad that when i woke up this morning, my pillow is so damp from all the snot--it didnt help that i came home really late that night from an instant drinking session with faye at the old swiss inn-its that place where you'll most likely to see some really old guy with a couple of gro's in his table trying to sift thru their chocolate fondue. We didnt last long, a glass of wine is all that took for me to feel like ive snorted a couple of valiums-

i swore not to drink any alcohol again today for the fear that my system will just crash-but then again, here i am with an open bottle of wine in my disposal trying to numb everything else thats been going on..maybe the combination of these situations will help me to jumpstart this blog again...or there's always minesweeper

boo!

so its been weeks since a proper post, i was just being busy with the customs review--it has sucked every random creative thought out of me. This is what you get when you are technically cramming 4 years worth of customs and tariff materials in 2 months. Hooray for procrastinating thru grad school

In the meantime, my new favorite sesame street scene above

this is where it gets interesting

its all getting clearly now...

...crystal

before "the man" edits it out

here's the self-absorbed/pretentious article that i wrote for manila bulletin for this coming friday's issue..enjoy! :)


Opening Credits

I blame it all on my parents and their Betamax copy of Seven Samurai.

Having been brought up in the 80s pop culture frenzy of Japanese cartoons and action series dubbed in English (Shaider, Voltes V, Daimos – if you were ever a kid in this era you know what I’m talking about), I was of course attracted to the Kurosawa classic based on the title alone. Never mind that it’s cover was in black and white, and of course I never bothered to read the synopsis; it had something to do with samurai, and in my child’s mind that’s all it needed to get played.

That, however, is as far as the logic goes in my head. That’s how it ended up in the betamax player – I have no plausible explanation as to why I didn’t turn it off after the first five minutes. I can’t justify a seven year old me sitting though a grainy movie that had nothing to do with the cartoons I so adored. It being the first serious movie I sat through, I could give it credit for opening up my film interest. But I suppose it really just awakened something in me that’s always been there – the ability to get lost in what most first graders would call a long and boring film.


Blockbuster’s Preferred Customer

Strangers who enter my den for the first time would immediately tag me a film buff. I’m guessing it has something to do with around 1,300 original DVDs lining my walls – in alphabetical order. When people pick up on this fact they also jump to the conclusion that I am obsessively neat.

The alphabetical order part I can easily justify – how else do you keep track of more than a thousand DVDs? Don’t even bring up the idea of one of those generic DVD cases – I keep all my movies in their original casings, thanks.

And the film buff part? Yeah, I have no argument for that – but I’d also like to point out that I didn’t just fill my shelves with Citizen Kane, Chinatown and A Bout de Souffle. Sitting among the more serious stuff (like The Simpsons Movie) are the likes of High Fidelity, Jerry Maguire, Spiderman I and II and Bridget Jones’ Diary.

It’s clear from my collection that I am not a film snob – I just love movies. All kinds of movies. From every director, in pretty much any language. As long as it has opening and closing credits, moving pictures and the ability to capture my interest (which when it comes to films is obviously not that difficult), I’m there.

What makes a good movie for me is the emotional response it draws – when it comes to the more popular films I consider it worth watching in my book if it triggers the reaction its genre is supposed to – comedies that make me laugh, horror movies that raise the hairs on my arms, dramas that make me give a crap about the characters on screen and identify with whatever crisis it is that’s going on in their fictional lives. Sometimes unintentional reactions work for me too – if a horror movie inadvertently makes me guffaw out loud in the cinema that’s good enough.

I don’t sit through every movie looking for breathtaking cinematography, Pulitzer-worthy dialogue and life-altering insight – most movies made and screened in public these days are for pure entertainment value, and as long as I am in one way or another entertained – visually, intellectually, emotionally – then I am one happy viewer.

Of course truly great movies – the ones I love and watch over and over again – set a different standard in my head. Over the years I’ve come to know and admire the styles of my favorite directors, their particular unique touch that make the movie truly their work – this is what makes a great film for me. I’ll site Kubrick as an example – he’s fearless, irreverent, almost self-indulgent. He makes a film that would obviously very much entertain him, and what everybody else thinks, he doesn’t give a damn. He would come up with the perfect film for himself, and if you get it, that film would be perfect for you as well.

If You Were Stuck On A Desert Island…

Or, my top ten movies of all time, the ones I would watch again and again if I had only these to play for the next 60 or so years:

1. A Clockwork Orange (Stanley Kubrick, 1971)
You sit through this movie and you just have to accept the fact that you are in a completely different world – what you know and who you are doesn’t count, the characters are people you probably wouldn’t want to meet in real life, and you’re jolted by a side of human nature you never wanted to explore. The senseless violence, the perversity and the weirdness leaves you disoriented for days after watching – that’s what makes it the perfect film.

2. Pulp Fiction (Quentin Tarantino, 1994)
Some films you have to watch more than once to truly appreciate*. Films like Vanilla Sky and Pulp Fiction didn’t really jump out at me as truly great from the first – until I watched it the second time and started paying closer attention to the dialogue. Then I realized what a great movie it is based on the script alone.
Pulp Fiction makes my list before Vanilla Sky does because its characters are way cooler and the interlacing stories more diverse.

*A Clockwork Orange also falls into this category but that’s only because it’s emotionally a bit too much to take in one sitting

3. Der Himmel über Berlin (Wim Wenders, 1988)
Which was remade into “City Of Angels” about ten years later. This movie I loved foremost for its cinematography – every scene in this film looked like a masterpiece. Plus Wenders also depicted angels in a most excellent way – the way I would imagine them to be, thus making the film something I could very much relate to.

4. Bottle Rocket (Wes Anderson, 1996)
This was Wes Anderson’s first movie – one of my favorite directors of all time. This is where I first discovered his whimsical style, his knack for making a neat little package out of scenes that don’t really make any sense. The quiet strangeness of his pictures coupled with a really good soundtrack makes this movie one of my all time faves.

5. The Godfather II (Francis Ford Coppola, 1974)
I wasn’t allowed to cheat and say the Godfather trilogy. If I had to choose I’d have to bring the second one with me because it’s like watching two movies in one – plus I liked the neat parallelisms Coppola made between the young Vito Corleone and the older, tougher Michael.

6. Jules et Jim (Francois Truffaut, 1962)
Not your typical love story, I believe this movie was way before it’s time – even for the French. It delves into love triangles and ménage a trois, and ties it all up with a very appropriate ending.

7. Casablanca (Michael Curtiz, 1942)
The cheesy dialogue, the overplayed and studied delivery of every line, the real old-world romance you won’t find in any film nowadays because nowadays we just can’t pull it off anymore– those are trapped forever in this film, stuff you can only preserve and never duplicate. It just won’t work if you make this film at any other time; this movie is an irreplaceable classic.

8. Raging Bull (Martin Scorsese, 1980)
Having went on about the director attracting me to the film before anything else I had to put Scorsese on this list. And of all the great Scorsese films I had to choose this one. Very trademark Scorsese, with the essential de Niro thrown in as a disturbed prize fighter. Need I say more?

9. Dr. Strangelove (Stanley Kubrick, 1964)
Because it’s Kubrick, and it’s funny.

10. Requiem For A Dream (Darren Aronofsky, 2000)
Though I don’t really make it a point to seek out terribly depressing movies that leave you without even the tiniest sliver of hope in the end, I still loved this movie because of the impact it leaves on anyone who watches it. Much like a bad relationship, you’re left feeling abused, emotionally drained, depressed – but you can’t take your eyes off it and you keep coming back for more – you’re in love.

10.5. Tie between Revenge of The Nerds and the Back To The Future Trilogy
Ok, ok, I cheated. But I had to bring some of the whimsical along with me. Revenge of the Nerds I must have watched about ten times when I was a kid. And the Back To The Future Trilogy – it’s just the perfect 80s trilogy for me. Great concept, memorable characters, and of you pay close enough attention, some really funny inside jokes that only the greatest of its fans would get.

Is It Me Or The Film That’s Out Of Focus?

One sad thing I’ve noticed is that lately it’s been more difficult for me to concentrate on the longer films – the ones without the prerequisite car chases, one-liners and romantic interests. I don’t blame Hollywood – I respectfully thank the movie industry giants for mass manufacturing the saccharin cotton candy of entertainment, the releases I can sit through brain dead from the sugar rush without having to think too much about what this film is really saying – most of the time they’re not really saying much, that’s what makes them so entertaining.

But too much of a good thing can do its damage – my movie palate has gotten so used to the simple flavors of pop culture flicks that when confronted by the complex, delicate essence of the classics my now lazy tongue gets bored. I find myself getting annoyed at having to concentrate to pick up tastes subtler than explosive saccharin.

The good news is the movie taste can be re-trained. That little boy who sat though almost three and a half hours of Kurosawa twenty-five years ago is still sitting in me – he just needs to be woken up.

If you want to truly appreciate film in it’s every form and genre, try to strike a good balance between the fluff and the intense – you don’t have to eschew box office hits as beneath your taste, but you’d also like to explore something other than the latest amusing no-brainer to hit the cinemas. If there’s a film on my top ten list you haven’t seen, any of those would be a pretty good place to start.ss

I look at the 1,347 DVDs lining my shelves and I can proudly say I have a pretty good balance going on there. Yes, I know how many movies I have exactly – I counted.

fake plastic trees

someone from my distant past who had long decided to accept the fact that we're not just right for each other-decided to call me just a few minutes ago-our first contact in whatever form, years after the incident...when she asked how i was doing, i said "im fine"--its the most overly used generic reply in the english language. She was hoping that i would ask her the same question-i knew this because she was in her uncomfortable silence mode.

She nervously laughed and then proceeded to say these phrases in order: she made a mistake, she badly misses me, she can't stop thinking about me lately and then asks if its ok that she drops by in a few minutes. I was still trying to contemplate what was going on when she said "i'll be there by 2".The repurcussions of this meet if ever it happens is a sure disaster of epic proportions

I dont need this drama in my life, i have other worries to think about. Just when you think you are settled with the routine of trivial nothingness and this past life is burrowed deep into the receses of your unconsiousness. this thing pops up from nowhere and grab you with its sadistic sadly addicting grip.

...but why am i still not texting her not to come.

i was bored that day

i am writers block...so i decided to copy and paste this chat log i had a couple of months ago...

you know one of those scams wherein, your friends ym account got hacked and then proceeds to message you asking for an unusual request for cellfone load. This one was a giveaway because i was apparently being messaged by an ex-gf who there is no way be any close of messaging me again after we broke up. So instead of getting annoyed by the scammer, i made it a point to irritate the hell out of him...and here it is

some stupid scammer: wat tym na?
clockworkchico: in manila?
clockworkchico: 3:22
some stupid scammer: favor namn
clockworkchico: yup
some stupid scammer: ask ko lang kung meron mabibilan dyan ng prepaid cards?
clockworkchico: ano provider mo
some stupid scammer: binibenta ko kasi sa mga naka roaming eh then binibili sakin bawat isa ng 25usdollars
clockworkchico: i see
clockworkchico: medyo malayo bilihan dito eh
some stupid scammer: ok lang aantayin nalang kita
some stupid scammer: ok lang?

clockworkchico: sige
clockworkchico: ano kelangan mo
some stupid scammer: globe 500 10pcs ok lang ba?
clockworkchico: eh pano mo ako babayaran..may utang ka pa nga sa aken eh
clockworkchico: yun tinalo mo sa nba betting
clockworkchico: 1,000 pa yun
some stupid scammer: isasabay ko na yung bayad tom ok lang ba?
clockworkchico: sige pano mo nga ako babayaran
clockworkchico: hoy
clockworkchico: nandiyan ka pa ba
some stupid scammer: tru bank acct,
clockworkchico: sige wait lang..pabili ko sa messenger

clockworkchico: kamusta na pala si chris yun kambal mo
some stupid scammer: ayus namn sila ikaw kamusta ka namn?
clockworkchico: nakalabas na ba sha sa kulungan? hassle talaga yun kapitbahay niya na 16 na ni rape raw niya
clockworkchico: eh payag naman sha don

clockworkchico: hoy tins
clockworkchico: 10 lang ba kelangan mo?
some stupid scammer: yup,,
clockworkchico: suplada ka paren tulad dati
some stupid scammer: hehehehe
clockworkchico: ano number mo? send ko sa iyo thru text
clockworkchico: hassle kung itatatype ko pa dito eh
some stupid scammer: hahahaha
some stupid scammer: ok bigay ko sayo
some stupid scammer: +639276627297
clockworkchico: nagpalit ka na pala ng number! baket di mo sinabi sa aken..
clockworkchico: parang wala tayo pinagdaanan
clockworkchico: dami mo kausap..kakainis ka
some stupid scammer: hehehe
some stupid scammer: bago lang yun ano kaba namn
some stupid scammer: wala ako kausap noh ikaw lang kaya

clockworkchico: naalala mo yun time na ginawa naten sa kwarto ng erpat mo tapos napa utot ka? sobrang laugh trip yun
some stupid scammer: hahahahahaha:))
some stupid scammer: wag kana mag paalala

some stupid scammer: nag pabili kanaba?
clockworkchico: oo..na traffic lang
clockworkchico: malapet na sha
some stupid scammer: ganun
clockworkchico: mahsado ka naman naiinip kagad
clockworkchico: smart diba?
some stupid scammer: nyek globe kaya
clockworkchico: ha!?!?!?!!! sabi mo smart eh!
clockworkchico: sandali papapalet ko
some stupid scammer: sus#-o

clockworkchico: kamusta pala yun nasubog mong kilay
clockworkchico: eto naman..favor na nga eh..ikaw pa yun galet
clockworkchico: ewan ko sa iyo
clockworkchico: gusto mo pa ba yun prepaid or hindi
some stupid scammer: hindi ako galit noh
some stupid scammer: ayos lang namn yun
clockworkchico: san ka na ba ngayon?
some stupid scammer: kukunin ko yun ano kaba?

clockworkchico: san tayo magmimeet?
some stupid scammer: ikaw san ba gusto mo?
clockworkchico: don sa dati
clockworkchico: kung san tayo palagi nagiinuman
clockworkchico: eto na yun prepaid cards
clockworkchico: bigay ko sa iyo ngayon
clockworkchico: tara na
some stupid scammer: ok anong tara na?
some stupid scammer: send mo nalang dito
some stupid scammer: mga pins
clockworkchico: bigay ko sa iyo itong card
clockworkchico: ang dami nito
clockworkchico: 20 nga yn nabili ng messenger ko eh
some stupid scammer: ah ok
some stupid scammer: dito mo nalang isend
clockworkchico: ano ba smart plan mo
some stupid scammer: ok lang ano sesend mo na ba? o hindi pa?
clockworkchico: sesend ko na
clockworkchico: sandali

clockworkchico: sure ka na smart ka ha
clockworkchico: tagal mo sumagot..suplada mo talaga tulad dati
some stupid scammer: yup
some stupid scammer: wait ko nalang
clockworkchico: sandali
clockworkchico: sinungaling ka talaga
clockworkchico: sabi mo globe ka eh!
clockworkchico: ano ba talaga
some stupid scammer: globe ako
some stupid scammer: sabi ko kahit smart kunin ko na
clockworkchico: eh smart itong nanbili ng messenger ko eh..ang kulet niya talaga
some stupid scammer: ok nga lang
some stupid scammer: kahit smart

clockworkchico: kiss muna!
clockworkchico: suplada hmpf
clockworkchico: pasauli ko nalang ito..
some stupid scammer: hahaha
some stupid scammer: kis pa gusto
clockworkchico: magaleng ka lang kung may kelangan ka sa aken
clockworkchico: hoy
clockworkchico: dami ka mashado kausap
clockworkchico: bye na nga
clockworkchico: hassle pa yun pag return itong prepaid cards

some stupid scammer: hindi mo ba isend?
clockworkchico: eh di ka namamansin eh!
some stupid scammer: anong d nanmamansin
some stupid scammer: ikaw nga lang kausap ko
clockworkchico: pinapansin mo lang ako kung may kelangan ka
clockworkchico: watever!
clockworkchico: kaya tayo nag break dati kasi ganyan ka
some stupid scammer: sus
clockworkchico: u just talk to me if u want load!
some stupid scammer: sus
some stupid scammer: hindi mo na ba isesend?
clockworkchico: kiss lang hinihingi ko..ayaw mo pa
some stupid scammer: :*:*:*:*:">:*
some stupid scammer: yan ang dami na kiss nyan

clockworkchico: sobrang hassle ito
clockworkchico: scratch ko pa ito
clockworkchico: hanap muna ako coins
clockworkchico: coins pang scracth

clockworkchico: na miss mo ba ako?
some stupid scammer: ikaw na mis mo ba ako>
some stupid scammer: ?
clockworkchico: oo naman!

clockworkchico: naalala mo yun time na nag picnic tayo sa picnic grove tapos malapet ka na mahulog sa bangin
some stupid scammer: hahaha
clockworkchico: nakaka miss mo?
clockworkchico: halos maiyak ka nun sa takot..sinumbong mo nga ako sa tatay mo eh
clockworkchico: tinutukan tuloy ako baril kasi hindi raw kita inaalagaan
clockworkchico: kamusta na pala tatay mo?
some stupid scammer: ok namn

some stupid scammer: ano ok na masesend mo na ba? sample ka nga ng isa
clockworkchico: nagpapalet muna ako ng pera..wala ako coins eh
clockworkchico: pwede ba sa 5 pesos pang scracth
clockworkchico: or 10 pesos?
some stupid scammer: nyek matagal paba?
clockworkchico: eto na nga hawak ko!
some stupid scammer: sample ka lang ng isa...
clockworkchico: puro load nasa isip mo tina..ano ba yan
clockworkchico: ayaw ko na nga..mashado ka naiinip
some stupid scammer: sus ang arte mo namn

clockworkchico: kayo pa ba ni tolits?
clockworkchico: dami mo mashado kausap..ewan ko sa iyo
some stupid scammer: hindi
clockworkchico: ano hindi..diba patay na patay ka don
clockworkchico: tuwin nanonood tayo ng hiphop showdown sa plaza..ayun ang crush mo
some stupid scammer: wag na nga kung ayaw mo isend

clockworkchico: nakiki[agkwentuhan lang ako eh..masado ka naman mainipin
clockworkchico: eto na
clockworkchico: sinascratch na
some stupid scammer: cge type mo na?
clockworkchico: gaano muna kayo nagtagal ni tolits?
clockworkchico: yun totoo ha!
some stupid scammer: hindi kami nag tagal... dahil manloloko sya:)
clockworkchico: sabi ko na nga ba eh! nakita ko sha nung isang araw kasama si jhennifer
clockworkchico: sa may tambayan ng mga adik don kina manang
clockworkchico: wag mo sabihin sinabi ko sa iyo ha!

clockworkchico: eto na yun unang number
clockworkchico: 5
some stupid scammer: san?
some stupid scammer: oo
some stupid scammer: send mo na ang tagal mo namn
clockworkchico: nakuha mo na yun unangnumber?
clockworkchico: 5 yun 1st number
clockworkchico: gets mo?
clockworkchico: ready ka na sa 2nd number?
clockworkchico: bahala ka na nga.dami ka mashado kausap
some stupid scammer: ok
clockworkchico: ano ok? nasulat mo ba yun number 5
some stupid scammer: oo
some stupid scammer: bilisan mo nmn

clockworkchico: sabihin mo kung ready ka na sa 2nd number
clockworkchico: eh para sure..ayaw ko ulitin eh
clockworkchico: sabihin mo kung ready ka na sa 2nd number
some stupid scammer: oo ready
clockworkchico: 3
clockworkchico: kuha mo yun?
clockworkchico: 5 tapos 3
some stupid scammer: oo

clockworkchico: sabihin mo kung ready ka na sa 3rd number
some stupid scammer: oo ready gago...
some stupid scammer: bilisan mo
clockworkchico: ahhh gago pala ako ha..yabang mo naman
clockworkchico: bawiin mo yun!
some stupid scammer: :))
some stupid scammer: ang tagal mo kasi
some stupid scammer: kakainis nakakainit ka ng pekpek,:)
clockworkchico: nakuha mo ba yun 1st number
clockworkchico: at yun 2nd?
clockworkchico: ano na?
some stupid scammer: ano kana din
some stupid scammer: paisa isa ka
some stupid scammer: ang bagal mo
some stupid scammer: aalis na ako
clockworkchico: sige nga..ano yun 1st 2 digits?
clockworkchico: di ka ata nakikinig eh
some stupid scammer: ang 1st putang ang 2nd inamo
some stupid scammer: gago:))

clockworkchico: sayang ito..
clockworkchico: bahala ka na nga..
clockworkchico: masasauli ko pa ba ito? or gusto mo sha
some stupid scammer: ok lang makupad kaba sa pagong eh
clockworkchico: tinatanong ko lang kung nakuha mo yun 1st 2 digits eh
clockworkchico: mahirap na yun magkamali no

clockworkchico: eto yun 3rd
clockworkchico: 4
clockworkchico: tapos 0
clockworkchico: then 0
clockworkchico: kuha mo?
clockworkchico: nandiyan ka pa?
some stupid scammer: letse


i win! :)

this little piece of cheese

sometimes you just meet someone unexpectedly and smacks you in the head with a killer smile-the one that peers thru your being. You try not to get attached, involved or any other often used adjective that relates to being pulled into someone's reality, but how can you not when its contagious to a fault. Its the way how people are more in tune with the complexities of the world by looking at the subtle creeses within it and straightening it with their their naive easy going manner. Im still on the fence whether this is something that will just quickly cross over or will make a complete stop, im intentionally trying to pace myself and see what your idealism has to offer, and so far i cant stop smiling...

...

ive been awake for 24 hours straight...you win this round on the account of your passionate stories and childlike awe. I might just as well let you win everytime

digital love

900 pages of the handbook on tarrif and customs code for review is completely read, 95% of which is covered in yellow highlites...whats the use of highliting it if you are going to mark everything as relevant anyway...the past few days, it takes me 3 hours from the time i lie down to the state of slumber...my mind is in perpetual thought and overlying what-ifs...eyebags are now very evident...this stupid eyecream is no use...the post-its are now covering the right side of my cubicle...an official of the Bureau of Customs will get 1 to 10 years in prison if caught accepting bribes...in which idealistic reality?...my lunch consists of 2 garlic breads and 4 spoonfuls of pasta...its pathetic, the ratio of meal to side meal is not proportional...the idea of having 5 glasses of wine from last night would probably help me get some much needed sleep...tipsy and drowsy but still not happening...my next course of action should be melatonin...and then probably some pot...if that still doesnt work, im completely fucked...decided to bug my neighbor til 4am in the morning...she was half asleep and slurring during the last hour...my shoelaces have all been destroyed on the account of my cat...acting very catlike lately...not been doing yoga the past few days...coming up with every excuse not to go...maybe i should today...let me write that in my post it and stick it to the wall of things to recall...organized chaos is a bitch

young folks

I've been having the most vivid dreams the past few weeks, this was probably due to the lack of nicotine in my brain therefore clearing some space for all my unconsioucious frustrations and guilty pleasures. I had acheieved that pathetic state of looking forward to sleeping every night knowing that i'll experience what seems to be a hallugenic drug overdose of your choice.

Last week, i dreamt of being in a late 80's tagalog comedy flick. Im not sure which one, they all seem to follow the same formula. Poor guy courts rich girl..rich girl is also being courted by rich evil guy..rich girl gets charmed by the poor guy due to the fact he does a "harana" in the tune of either richard marx or michael learns to rock...evil guy gets pissed and proceeds to kidnap the girl. poor guy saves rich girl and beats up poor guy and his goons with his punches complete with delayed sound effects...and then the always entertaining beach scene

So my role in that particular scene was that of one of the backup dancers during the part where the actors suddenly break out into a song and dance number. I was wearing your typical cycling shorts with neon orange stripes on the side and was sporting a mullet for some reason. We were dancing to a rick astley track- i recalled this because roderick paulate was part of the cast in my dream and you cant dance to "together forver" without roderick paulate singing front and center. I was also approached by rita avilla at what point and told me he just broke off with jestoni, and then asked me if i can teach her the"roger rabbit dance move".

It was right after that part of the movie where one of the lead actors friends approaches what seems to be a pretty girl in a bright bathing suit with her back facing the camera, only for the former to find out that she is zorayda sanchez...that i woke up with the blaring ringing of my fone, i answered saying "let me sleep for 10 more minutes, im about to get lucky with rita avilla"

keep the car running

my thumb is already on defcom alert 4, the pain threshold on which you can barely make it functional. The cause of this injury?..too much playing space invaders extreme for the nintendo ds-its a remake of the old videogame classic you used to play on your atari-that of the "always worn out joystick and the adaptors electrical shock that never fails to get you when you plug the it at the end of your tv" fame-but now its more extreme... if they had put the letter Z in the end of the title like extremeZ, then it could have warned me earlier of its painful implications...just like the 90's pinoy guilty pleasure band of choice- the introvoyZ and people who say "yeZ" instead of yes- that underrated consonant warns you of the risk of experiencing too much of it has the potential of causing permanent injury.

The turtle asked me while waiting for our ride during our always extended lunch breaks, if i ever clean my bellybutton. I said of course i do, but not daily and not with a passion--i always had this fear of cotton budding that chasm until it unravels the innards of my belly and subsequently i would bleed to death..surpisingly, she had the same silly apprehensions. The whole conversation of bellybutton maintenance lasted for around 20 minutes-i told her of this fascinating technique of saving precious time in the morning...what you do is get 3 cotton buds and place it between your fingers, you then proceed to use each one for both of your ears and the topic in question-its multitasking in its finest- the old way of getting one cotton bud at at a time is so dated. She thought it was so crazy that it must work. The first thing i did when i got to my office is to google "death by cleaning of bellybutton", fortunately... there were no known cases of this fictional phemonenon. I should write to mythbusters and tell them i went ahead and busted it.

I had my cat spade last week, so i had to leave her at the vet for 3 days. When i finally came to get her, the poor thing was drowsingly lying down and looked liked she had undergone her own version of kitty hell- i was bearing with guilt the past few days while she was undergoing the operation and dreamt of the cat calling PETA to air her grievances and telling them that they file a criminal case against me(in the same dream i was found guilty and punished by eating her cat food). The moment i grabbed keizer-she looked at me then meowed as an appeal to pity..she then proceeded to stare at her veterinarian and started making cat noises on her, as if to convince me that i should have the vet spade as well. Keizer is fine now, judging by the way she is back to her usual shenanigans of tearing up toilet papers, destroying every shoelace and clawing her way to my shoulder ever chance she gets. I am now considering to change her name to keizerZ.

burning down the house

It was champs farewell party last night, and i had no idea what i was up for. There must be around a hundred different individuals cramped into my small place at one time or the other. It was a blessing in disguise that the body heat of all these people have made my living room a personal sauna, thus making the place- borderline intolerable to stay for more than 30 minutes. Other people we're smarter, they made way into my bedroom which the airconditioner was like an oasis in a desert.

He had rented this thing called "sober club" which is a service that comes with its own bar and bartenders and shotglasses with of a variety of alcoholic mixtures filled to the rim. The rows of different colored drinks we're a fascinating sight to behold(picture here) and the guests we're just gulping shot after shot after shot like it was crack. Naturally, a few of them were already completely drunk and making a fool of themselves even before midnight. Champ kept worrying about the disaster potential of my place after the party, i told him that whats important that we give you a proper sendoff and that everyone is enjoying themselves--but you have to clean up all apparent vomit afterwards...i don't do vomit

It was a revelation that this guy had so many friends, always thought that the poker quorum constitutes 90% of his posse. We were actually the minority, our common friends dissappeared into a mob of strangers. Most of which are his college friends, media people and a few who approached yoga rockstar mentioning her name and making small talk, only to tell me that she cant recall how she knows them--yoga and alcohol does damage to your memory center.

Our regular rockband group had created a small following of clueless fans after playing a few songs on the machine. Those clueless fans then started to turned against us- after getting tired of playing vicariously thru is for an hour or two, they inititally, asked nicely that they want to actually play the damn game and then when they felt that we aren’t easily going to give them the opportunity to be the crowd-drawers, they eventually grabbed our plastic instruments when we weren’t looking. So these posers started their attempt at imaginary rockstar glory...in the middle of their songs, someone playfully screamed "thats not how you sing that boston tune! the song is called 'more than a feeling' for a reason!"

Everyone had loads of fun nevertheless. Got to meet a lot of fascinating new people bringing with them interesting conversation. Carol brought her new british friend, who by the middle of the night has accumulated several groupies on the account of her accent-it came to a point that they were making her read out loud anything that they can grab to.

By the time the 2 boxes of pizza, 3 platters of coldcuts, 4 bottles of vodka, close to a thousand shots of mixed aloholic drinks and a a guest who slept thru the party because he got wasted way too early dissapeared , I asked champ if he enjoyed his party, he says he sure did despite being a little bummed that the people who he expects to be there, namely colleagues from his line of work. I say "fuck them" , these are the finer moments that you know who your true friends are and probably they're just extremely jealous that your going to be in a whole different level when you get to new york and eventually make it big there, most people in your industry seem to be pretentious assholes anyway.

Cheers champ, here's to the few of the all around nicest guys i've ever met...now clean up that vomit in the bathroom

S.O.S.

We finally got to see mamma mia, the movie that everyone with an ABBA guilty pleasure seems to be raving out. The plan was to watch it with the whole family and we couldnt be more excited that we're bringing my mom along for the ride. My mom is the ultimate ABBA fangirl. She worships at the vocal stylings and bellbottoms of bjorn, benny and agentha and anti-frid...I can still remember all the embarassing parties that we we were forced to perform at when we were kids using the worn out minus-one tape that my mom would always bring with her (minus one machine included)--I had "thank you for the music" as part of my solo act, my sister had it worse, she was assigned the unfortunate melodies of "chiquitita".

Circa 1980, we had that whole family movie weekly thing in full force, i can still vividly evoke thoughts of the old quad moviehouse, wherein the the theater price comes in 2 flavors-orchestra and balcony(it was actually 3, if you count Standing Room Only) or depending if u want to have a stiff neck either by staring at the screen upwards or downwards. Also there was something fascinating with old school extra laden transfat popcorn, the smell of which can be experienced all the way from the parking lot.

My dad used to have this peculiar habit of wanting to go in the theater 30 minutes after the movie starts...we then proceed to sit thru it, wait for the credits to roll, stay patiently inside the theater while the projectionist plays some music(it was usually something by kenny rogers or even worse-bread)while he waits for the first part of the reel to come in, watch the previews and then leave at the part of the flick that we initially gazed our eyes upon. As kids, it was an almost futile act of comprehension and problem solving.

After the movie, my mom was still hyped up and was singing and dancing to "waterloo" all the way to the parking lot while we all keep our distance fearing that people might think we're with that crazy woman. She told us that we should revive the weekly movie tradition again and that she misses us terribly. the ultimate abba fangirl then asked me to sing my opus with her--i thought about it, then i sang the first few lines..she then said "ok, stop it..you are trying to embarass me"

maps

Tonight was the quiz night at murphys, we had one week to accumulate an unwavering determination that we had to improve our pathethic 2nd to the last finish. The team didnt dissapoint

...we finished fucking 2nd place!!!

and the thing was-we almost had it, but as a team that comprises of 2 film majors, 3 lawyers, a chef and a gambling consultant-all in our late 20's-early 30's, was certainly no match against the winning team, which from our acute assessment was a bunch of 50 to 60 year old guys who have been joining that event ever since it inception.

It was so close, at one point-we were almost dead even, but eventually lost to 7 points in the end--stupid US election category, by the time the quizmaster was giving out questions relating to the 50's US political landscape (jfk succeeded what president this, vice president of nixon that)...we knew that you have to be at least breathing during that era to get the questions correct...and the eventual winners were probably already participating in balagtasans and zarsuellas in their local plazas when the events occured.

the turning point of the night was during the early rounds, wherein the question "what animal kills it victims by spraying a poison in its prey's eyes" came out during the animal category. "Its the spitting cobra!", miguel answered with half conviction and half silliness. We were laughing at his almost too good to be true bullshit response, but eventually we put it because we cannot come up with any good guesses anyways. the fucker turns out to have the correct answer all along,...we earnestly believe that we were the only ones who got it right, judging by the sighs and moans of frustrations from the other teams.

So, we won a bottle of cheap red wine for all out trouble, and we all decided to keep the bottle in the establishment so that we could all drink it for our attempt to finally win it all at the next quiz night. Last week was absoultely pathetic, but tonight was a revalation that we could actually beat this game--we figured it was easy to get in and not impossible to rise up...

thats what she said!

blister in the sun

the pimple invasion has begun..i first suspected that the cause of this is due to the added stress and increased irritation due to quitting smoking...but then i noticed that the extent of coverage is only visible on the right side of my face. I can imagine myself getting paid for an ad where they show a face split right in the middle with the effects of using brand x on the left side and brand y on the right side --obviously, brand x is the winner-go buy it now.

The acumulated dirt and other unwanted particles from the makati smog resulting to this disaster could be it --i refuse to accept that the time, effort and disposable income i have used to wash, clean, exfoliate, moisturized, sunblocked, anti-aged, eye-creamed, clay masked and cold masked my mug(and that doesnt include the weekly derma treatments) is all for naught . Friends who have seen the sheer selection of chemicals in the bathroom counter declare that its narcissism at its finest or that i need psychological help.

It also couldnt be from my pillowcases where i sleep with my whole face pressed smacked right into it nor it could be from the amount of ubitiquous bite sized chocolates courtesy of balikbayans from my side and spyders which i have been binging for the past few weeks--both of these instances should have rendered the whole face with random spots of atrocity.

I was talking to a friend over my cellfone and mentioned the facts i had presented above and with her powers of dedeuctive reasoning came up with the simplest conclusion. "Are you hearing my pretty voice over your right ear with your whole fone touching your face?"..."You are a genius" i uttered. simply amazed by the simple logic of it all

I am still on the fence whether or not i should get one of those bluetooth headsets that i simply loathe...there is nothing more annoying and self indulgent, than seeing someone with the stupid device on their ear while talking like they are the hi-tech shit. But in reality, the accessory reeks of a fashion disaster of epic proportions.-- but so are unwanted spots covering only one side of your visage.

sick of myself

To celebrate my one week smoking ban, i mustered myself to go to yoga after a 3month hiatus--now this musterisng took some time, The rule is i need to convince myself the day before that i need the detox and exercise and to stop second guessing myself that im going to pass out during the whole process, it also doesnt help that the guilt trip of conistently seeing my yoga instructor accidentally these past few weeks outside my building- and everytime that i do, she never fails to small talk me a constant barrage of sermoning on why i dont go anymore, i keep convincing her that ill go tomorrow--Finally that tomorrow has come.

The yoga session-all 1 1/2 hours of it--felt like i was in some kind of hell-my favorite re-imagining of hell was that of that scene in the old school darna movie which they constantly play on PPP(Piling Piling Pelikula-yeah i know u remember!) where she battles the devil and his minions on their own turf, and there is one sequence where one of the permanent residents had their tongue pulled out and the devil hammering it with a sledgehammer... It makes for an excellent brainwashing propoganda movie for evil children--here's the perfect justification on why you should always be on your best behaviour

Going back to the yoga. I knew that i was in a different state of mind--On a normal practice i would routinely scan and filter any cute girls in the room so that i could talk to them after the yoga, but on this day i was instead scanning around the room for ANYONE who may be able to administer me CPR instead in case i run out of breath, which seems to be at any minute.

I kept on grinding thru the different poses by chanting to self-help motivation one-liners to myself. i kept on thinking "whatever doesnt kill you makes you stronger" whenever i feel i was going to give up... By the time i had the 2nd set of the triangle pose and decided to sit it out-heavy breathing and fainting psychosomatic issues included,i had already added something to the cliched line above to "whoever said that fucking line, must be dead by now"

But i still finished all the fucking poses like a good yoga practicioner should and came out of the room feeling like i accomplished the overrated impossibility, i felt renewed, refreshed and sensed that every drop of tobacco i accumulated ever since i got back to smoking, seeped thru my pores. The same yoga instructor then asked me when she can expect me to come back..i told her tomorrow. She then laughed hysterically and said, "ill see you in 3 months"

debaser

Yesterday...

I was itching to get some rock band action going , and with nobody around to play the other instruments--i solely grabbed the xbox mic with its corresponding mic stand, and performed with matching ferocity all of the songs in the pixies album. The whole act comes with imagining myself in a fully packed stadium with thousands of screaming fans chanting my name with the 'always happens in an 80s rock concert music video' random chick who throws her bra on you. But in reality i am singing in front of my cat who is just staring there in disbelief on how pathetic his flatmate is.

The consequences of being nicotine free for the past few days have been getting to me -i just feel so fucking restless...i had read a total of 4 books in 1 hour- well...the first few pages of each and every one...the focus to go past page 10 was not happening..i cant stop fantasizing of how fucking wonderful life would be, if in that very instant-im lighting a cigarette, inhaling it like it was the last breath im going to ever have and finally exhaling that breathtakingly beautiful smoke that had passed thru your toxic deprived lungs... must...stop...having..these...thoughts

i finally got to release a shipment of a friends friend at the airport customs yesterday. Basically, the guy owes our ultra-honest government 42k in duties, taxes and other charges for importing a large picture frame for his home. The brilliant customs examiner classified it as for business use and penalized the poor guy for not having an import permit. I exhausted all my powers of "diskarte" and negotiated it for "under the table" 28k just to have the damned article cleared. The government is now 42k poorer in lost potental revenue and the customs examiner can now buy all the saudi gold bling-bling he needs
...Welcome to my glamorous world

can i kick it

"its the fucking czech republic!" i said, trying to alter my teammates more intelligent answers on the question of which country borders austria, slovakia and a half dozen more european states-it turned out they were right, it was hungary the whole time. Its quiz night at murphy's and we had assembled a team of pop culture obssessed freaks, only to be bombarded with categories that we frustratingly come up with our best pretentious guesses.

Our team was named "thats what she said"...which judging by the name, smells of imminent failure. It seems like we were the only ones in the room who got in the joke.-for you non-office fans out there, its a reference from the main characters favorite punchline. If used in actual conversation from last night-it would go:

marcus: medyo malabnaw yan soup na yan
miguel: mas sanay ako sa mas malapot
everyone: thats what she said!

Our team consists of a cast of characters full of swagger but hasnt yet fully realized its potential on tapping it stocked knowledge of little known facts.

emil - who claims that he can answer a set of jeopardy questions every night, but wasnt really effective in a game where the answer wasnt in a form of a question
miguel - who at the beginning of the game, told everyone that it only takes me and him to win it all--we only got to correctly answer not more than 10 questions, most of which are answers that are pulled out of thin air
spyder - who was our best bet in the science and literature category but instead gave us the most unusual correct answers at the other sets.
rocky - who gets coming up with the correct guesses but later on second guesses himself in the end.
yen - who came up with that brilliant answer to the russian ballerina who died just recently, it was wide off the mark
marcus - who answered something a trekkie would only know, regretably there was only one star trek question
champ - who came in already wasted and then eventually drunk when he got in during the middle of the game, was staring into space-and doesnt really know what was going on.

There were around 8 teams who gets to show off their smarts by correctly answering 10 questions each for 10 categories, which includes among others general knowledge, literature and arts, entertainment history, geography, sports and trivia...during the first half of the game, we had scored not more than 5 points for each one.. and we had garnered a total of 21 measly points compared to our next competitor who had more than doubled our pathetic tally

In a stroke of pure genius, we chose entertainment as our joker category(we get double points)--and we were the only ones who got a perfect 10/10 in that category or at any category for that matter. We were gaining some steam- and we declared that the comeback was on..the comeback of saving a little pride and not being the bottom of the barrel- we were not just about ready to get humbled on our first participation in this quiz night.

We were consistently getting borderline decent scores in trivia, sports and animal categories-our last minute brilliant guess to the question "to whom did bette midler refer to when she said...A woman who pulled herself up by her bra straps" seems to be that single point that took us from bottom place to second worst in the competition...it was enough to maintan our swagger in next weeks game and still be convinced that we'll eventually come on top

...thats what she said!

the blues are still blue

Its day 2 of the nicotine free campaign on myself...and i must say that holding up pretty well-all things considered. First thing i did yesterday morning was to unconsciously grab my lighter and head out to the other room for a smoke, only to realize that i wasnt suppose to anymore--good thing i gave away all my cigarettes to our security guards the night before. I decided to chew on some gum instead.

I was a mess at the workplace that morning, every little bittle of annoyance was magnified to something epic. For instance, when i heard one of my employees singing to the tagalog version of rihanna's umbrella which goes something like "payong..payong..payong..eh eh eh..sa ilalim ng aking payong"- i told her in the most sarcastic tone ever produced, "wow, you should quit your job and be one of those singers who join every singing contest at their barangay". She laughed then later on got upset when she finally realized i was being an asshole.

So before i relegated myself to being the cliched cranky boss i decided to gett off much earlier than usual and went to see a movie all by my lonesome--which i always find a more satisying experience than the usual two person and more viewing norm. Before the movie started, i noticed that the couplea few seats away from me kept starting at me and mumbling some jibberish-probably thinking its wierd that im watching a movie by myself. I grabbed my fone and called a friend "hey, do you find it creepy and rude when strangers stare at you inside a moviehouse, some people really lack the proper breeding". Im sure that they heard what i said because right that instance, they finally stopped their shenanigans.

I havent done any considerable damage so far today, i think ill be fine

you're no rock and roll fun

10:30pm...this is hopefully going to be my last cigarette in this lifetime...in a few minutes, i will undergo the dreadful process of nicotine withdrawal...this is the 4th time i have attempted to quit since that innocent stick more than 10 years ago so i am fully aware that the next few weeks will be the most toughest and most grueling-i also have grown accustomed on the subtleties of the routine of bettering my chances not to get puffing again

so these next few weeks, there will be:

1. no coffee, because there is nothing more perfect in the world than combining caffeine and nicotine

2. no late night partying - late night plus interesting conversation plus alcohol divide by your temptation for a cancer stick equals lethal recipe for disaster

3. no mingling with people who smoke- they will only try to tell you that you're crazy for quitting plus they will just add insult to injury by puffing their second hand smoke on your face

4. no hanging out at specific spots at your home and workplace where u smoke - ok, that means everwhere, scratch that

5. no watching of movies and tv shows where the characters are chain smoking - no "mad men", "californication" and every scorsese and french movie in existence

6, no poker - there is nothing more frustrating than getting a bad beat by a donkey, and we all know where frustration leads to

7. no drama - self explanatory

8. no sex- also self explanatory

i am now preparing for the worst--short fused tempers, sleepless nights and emo-induced behaviors..with a bit of luck, ill be back to my old cigarette hating self. god help us all :)

ceremony

I was about to get some much needed slumber when i was enticed to share one last cigarette with someone on the other room, a little youtube action wouldnt hurt and we came upon this amazing radiohead cover of "ceremony". Took us 3 more playbacks before we decided to sleep it off--last song syndrome nonwithstanding.

My baby sister will be arriving from san francisco today and we all cant wait to see her- we all miss her to death! She is one of most sweetest, funniest and whimsical individuals u can ever meet and has amassed a vast knowledge of interesting pop culture references in her disposal, She is also the one among us kids who wasnt sucked into the folks master plan for her and instead got to do what she was really passionate about, despite the odds stacked against her. Years of being harrassed in culinary school, working on odd jobs with long hours for various michelin restaurants and suffering thru several cuts and bruises on her hands-she finally gets to stuff us again with home-made gourmet and gout inducing cuisine these next few weeks--you still owe us young one

The siblings are all meeeting at salcedo park for lunch--Its that saturday "organic" market that where item being sold is way overpriced and is packed with people that all smell like barbecue smoke. One of my friends had quipped "its that one special spot in makati, where you'd accidentaly see the person you'd most likely been trying to avoid all your life and be forced into small talk on what he/she has bought"...i ...can't ...wait

the distance

The reality show called "condo hunting with the turtle" has finally begun. She messaged me that morning to join her into looking during our lunch break at some 1 bedroom spaces on buildings that will be done by 2011. I am impressed, the girl has done her research--she brought in an envelope full of figures and computations on downpayments and monthly installments writton on different letterheads collected from her previous visits. We looked into this property near buendia and one in pasong tamo-the latter is right smack beside makati cinema square. The real estate agent kept on insisting that the pirated dvd haven will be torn down soon-"your kidding right?" i retorted, "that thing has been fully depreciated since i was in college, what made you think that theyll finally give that place some much needed euthanasia".

The turtle was very interested in this cute loft who has this power of making people's inhibition disappear-i thought "if i live here and someone asked me what my loft looks like, ill say--it looks like sex"... but she decided otherwise in the account of her dog having a slipped disc. I acted as a devils advocate by asking her if she's really sure about getting a space for her own. "Look, by the time this building will be completed, you'll be in your early 30s--these things are never an investment, you definitely have to move in but are u sure u wont be married by that time" She answered with the biggest smile "I have a friend who bought a condo as well years ago, by the time the building was done, she got hitched--chalk it up for a good luck charm"

... SOLD!

sound of settling

I finally get to spend some downtime last night at home...the continuous alcohol infused late nights has taken its toll...here i was, lying in the couch already almost anesthisized when upon aimlessly switching thru the channels i got stuck watching "japan screen topics"--its amazing that they still have this. Who can forget the blue screen background opening with the map of japan showing and the words in old school video toaster font and tranistions-while u eagerly anticipate which of the 30 episodes in their library will they air...will it be the always popular restaurant wax food on display, the hypnotizing art of origami or my all time favorite-monkeys of okinawa wandering in the hot spring.

I had managed to sleep for over 9 hours and its possible that i couldve had a few more, if not for the the spyder who had to wake up much earlier to go to work and had forgotten to close the door to the room-that gave the ideal opportunity for the cat who lately have been craving for perpetual attention to strategically sat on my face while she meows til i get to throw her off the bed.

i have forgotten to close my itunes on my pc last night and the most appropiate refrain was playing when i first checked my mail and do the website routine.

Our youth is fleeting
Old age is just around the bend
And I can't wait to go gray

and on that note, im ready to start the day...

train in vain

Fuck it...despite feeling like complete shit today, i decided to push thru with the night out with the yoga rockstar..the battleplan was to pick her up from the studio and go straight to this bar of her friend in pasig...6ish is what i replied when she messaged me on what time ill be there..i arrived at 650, its the range limit where an -ish with an hour is still acceptable

The rockstar looked great as always, and mentioned how she is all dressed up so nicely, she argued otherwise...i sarcastically uttered "any blouse with sequence on it is considered as dressing nicely in my book"

Got to the bar, met her friends, and ordered a bottle of wine which i swore that i wouldnt finish-but i still drank every drop nevertheless....first thing i did when i saw the menu was to earmark all the greasy food on the appetizer side and went into the process of systemetically ordering each one based on its heart attack level. our conversations went from from work to politics to 80s techno music and into of all things-our favorite porn stars...unfortunately my favorite was the same namesake of my date for that night.

Sleepyeyes was there as well..he was outside when i approached him, i asked how life was treating him and who's he dating now. It was my cleverly sheepish attempt to bait him in mentioning that we know someone in common and how he broke the poor heart of that same girl. he tried to justify the shit out of his ass, but i know better...

At around midnight, the rockstar and his friend asked me to ditch the bar with them and do some smokes at this guys place, i declined-telling them ive been done with that shit for years now. She said "but arent u going to boracay with us next month, dont tell me ur not going to smoke there".."but thats boracay, all bets are off when we get there" i declared. Besides, i need to get home and be early for this stupid meeting tom anyways.

I'm now nicotine heavy and still wondering if i shouldve got high instead--maybe that wouldve help me loosen up and stop thinking of the shitty day ive been thru...well there's always the blog to rant and wait for my thoughts to go numb...any minute now .

ruby tuesday

Feeling like absolute shit today. i was awaken by the neighbors music of the rolling stone's ruby tuesday on constant loop, i was convinced it was played to mock me. My whole self feels like its been subjected to an experiment on the limits of of the human body before achieving a self induce coma...the chain smoking, lack of sleep, alcohol, stress, the food binge then the lack of it is definitely taking its toll...to add to the barrage, the call at 4am, telling me that she was doing well after the operation, everything is going to be fine but that she can never forgive me for stopping to talk her...thats just perfect, you can now add overlying guilt to the equation.

Being the mid year and all, i checked my to-do list for 2008 and see if i can cross out something. out of the 10 things which includes among others: to do more yoga, to fly a kite and to stop being an asshole...i only accomplished one...learning to juggle..but only barely, if u can call making 6 throws and 6 catches before the whole act falls apart...my standards are that low

A client was on the phone the moment i arrived from the office-she kept on talking about our late deliveries and the letter of our request for rate increase...She seemed to get more irritated and annoyed every minute..i felt like she's going to turn into she hulk any time now. I, on the other line randomly responded using my deep vocabulary by acknowledging with "yes", "you're right" and "i get your point"--the whole phone conversation reminds me of one of those scenes in a mid 80s weekly tagalog afternoon tv drama wherein the spiritless actor is frustratingly ad-libbing his responses, on a measly attempt to pretend that there was an actual person on the phone prop.

During the 20 minute one sided discussion, I was already zoning out and daydreaming halfway thru it, of just lying in bed with a good book, completely relaxed, my body without a trace of nicotine and my neighbor with her speakers thrown out of the floor-thats what fantasies are for, they alow you to skip the degradation and head straight to an accomplished to do list.

monday work blah

42 unread emails...half of them claiming they know me only to find out that they're selling cheaper viagra...someone stole my pen again...a printed worksheet on the weekends delivery report...someone messed up the formulas for the nth time...the difference of the no. of days between june 24 and june 29 is not -34556...3 unopened time magazines...the top news on my google reader says "kid get decapitated by rollercoaster while getting his hat"...i didnt know if i should smile, smirk or laugh...whats for lunch today?...oil is at 150 a barrel...better bring out the trucking rate increase request template...change date...change clients name...change percentage of diesel increase...change actual increase...maintain "we love you and we've been extremely loyal to u as business partner, but hell! we have a business to run and profit margins to maintain" tone...im in the wrong industry...joy division's ian curtis is the most underrated talent under the category "musical geniuses who stupidly comitted suicide in their peak"...my secretary is screaming at the phone again...received a demand letter from a citibank lawyer..i owe them 150 pesos for the 3 years worth of unpaid annual fees...told them a dozen times that i had the card cancelled since 2005...u cant help but feel sorry for the lawyer who signs these letters...my messenger has been using the photocopying machine since i got in an 3 hours ago...someone has to remind him that short doses of radiation is a killer...my expired yoghurt still tastes good...8 posts-it on my wall...one says "stop using post-its"

its about time for a poker post (and some colored fonts)

Emil confirmed last night at around 9pm that with Rocky playing, we had reached a quorum and the merville game was taking place.... Its been months since we all got together for some home poker action and despite the awfully loose game i displayed(and consequently a thousand pesos poorer), i still managed to be wildly entertained. While everyone else was playing the 33kbuyin at the cardroom, here we are arguing that a 20peso raise was too big for a 2-4 cash game.

I arrived there, bringing a box of the highest caloried donuts known to man..my intent was to make everyone have a sugar rush thus play aggressively loose while i only make my move when i have the best hand. Unfortunately, the donuts were virtually ignored by the quorum and I already had 2 of them while i was on the road...the plan backfired badly.

I was chasing every inside draw and calling with bottom pairs hoping i get trips on the turn on river, on a few occassions i hit them and it made me look like a genius, most of the time it just draws "huhs" and "what the..." from the rest of the table.

I have a strong connection to the merville game..this was the place where we originally came up with the the most comical banter for poker situations and the silliest aliases for our poker hands...here are a few of what we named our two cards and our own ridiculous justification why we named it as such:

5-6 suited is called audience impact because we deduced that of all the suited connectors you can get, this is the lowest you can call a raise with and getting a straight or a flush with this hand deserves at least an applause

Q5 is called star of the night because there was this one night that mitize kept playing this hand and without fail was getting trips against big pairs or getting a runner runner on ridiculous odds

J5 was baptized as the infamous johnny 5, and everytime you have it, u have to shout in your best short circuit impersonation "johnny five is allliivvveee". you can also add "more input ...stephanie" depending on the level of wastedness your currently in

10-3 is called charles bronson, we arrived in this because 10-2 is commonly recognized by every poker player as the doyle brunson... then obviouslly 10-3 is named after the star of death wish and its countless sequels

AA is Amy Austria

AK is Abe King

AJ is Ace Verjel

AQ is Beverly Verjel

A-10 is Al Tantay

Any suited club hand was called global warming ...as i logically explained with a series of simple predicates that is nothing short of genius. Clubs represent flowers, flowers are part of nature, nature is being destroyed because of pollution, pollution thus creates global warming. Therefore Clubs are global warming.

Adding to the confusion, we had a debate what is the strongest among the 4 suits...and the conversation went something like this:

Roe: so clubs are the strongest because its global warming?
Me: not necessarily, but it beats diamonds, because diamonds are part of the earth, and earth is being destroyed by global warming. thus clubs beats diamonds
Emil: but diamonds are forever, even in the event of global warming.
Me: your wrong, diamonds are forever, but hearts represents love and love conquers all

Roe: so let me get this right, the strongest suit is hearts, then clubs, then diamonds
Me: I think thats about right
Chito: where does spade fit in this
Me: Spade is the strongest of the suits
Roe: and why is that?
Me: because of the saying... a spade's a spade
(this was basically a cliffnotes version of the whole thing, the argument painfully went on for hours)

So, despite the low stakes, the almost non existence of poker etiquette and the consistent diversions from whats happening during a hand, where else can you speak and reference obscure pop culture anecdotes and everyone laughs hysterically every time. As one player famously asked the dealer to "roll vtr" to do the flop and screamed when he hit the nuts on the river "put him in a body bag!"

kookiness during the nba draft..just barely

930pm. I was already drained when i got out of the elevator of my level and almost missed the yellow post-it stuck at my door. The purple ink says "bring up the nba draft video with you, i want to see what the fuss is about-kookie" I lied to her the morning before that watching the nba finals with her wasnt a fluke and that we should watch the nba draft together". to which she replied "whats an nba draft?". At that precise moment, i was already convinced that this was going to be classic.

I was by her living room by 30 minutes, and there she was, dressed up like she was going to a rock concert--torn jeans, vintage shirt and a purple scarf. You could tell that she was already utterly wasted judging by the open vodka in her coffee table and her droopy eyes. "Are you about to leave or did u just arrive from some event" I said. She slurred "I am neither here or there...I was about to go to my 15th year highschool reunion, then i decided otherwise, fuck them, who the fuck celebrates 15 years-its just another reason for them to brag about how pathetically happy they are..fuck it..nba draft..now..watch..fight".

" Are you sure you still want to watch, u seem really drunk". She stared at me and said "what part of fight didnt u understand". She didnt even notice that i pulled out my notepad and was preparing to jot down notes of anything peculiar or bizzare that comes out of her mouth (which happens always often). The poser rockstar is already in another universe.

tv host: blah blah team traded their 27th pick for blah blah team for cash
me: they never say how much cash they give out, how do you even compute that?
kookie: i dont understand what he just said
me: basically their giving up a player for money, it doesnt happen often, its usually a trade between two players
kookie: (laughs hysterically)
me: whats so funny
kookie: its like, you know in those movies where the kidnappers finally get to get their money in exhange for their kidnapee. These executives must be in some deserted road under a bridge and one says -im not giving up my pick unless i see the money!, and when other guy shows the bag with the cash in it, he instructs him to throw the money in the middle. Sorry, im so out of it

tv host: derrick rose is an excellent basketball player, he always draws out double penetrations
kookie(punches me in the arm): he said double penetration..hahahaha

me: are you even familiar of the draft process
kookie: yes sir
me: ok, who was 1st pick last year?
kookie: uhmmm, dwayne wade
me: it was greg oden
kookie: yeah thats right
me: ok first pick 2006?
kookie: lebron
me: wrong again, first pick 2005?
kookie: lebron
me: and at 2004?
koookie: lebron?
me: you're just going to say lebron the whole time arent you
kookie: i also said dwayne wade, i know my basketball dumbass

tv host: minnesota has the 3rd pick, so are they going small or going big
kookie(stands up and started cheering): go big! go big!
me: are u sure u know what ur doing
kookie: i have always said, when in doubt, size matters

-the italian basketball player who was just picked is being interviewed
kookie: he needs to speak better english
me: give him a break, im sure it was his first time in new york
kookie: i dated an italian once
me: and your point is?
kookie(stares at the bottle of beer in front of her)
me: im waiting for your answer
kookie: i forgot what u asked, or what we were discussing..is it something about size?

At this point of the draft, I was already convinced that i should leave and just let her enjoy the intoxicated state she is in. I got up and decided to raid her fridge first...she was already snoring when I asked her if i could borrow some milk for my cat, i nudged her head to pretend that she said yes. So i sneaked outside her apartment and left a post-it note on her forehead, it says

"lebron was drafted in 2003, hope u remember that in ur 20th year reunion...goodnight rockstar"

it apparently means "the revue is starting"

how can you not just smile after watching this..ok. maybe after cringing a little bit after flashbacking that you used to do the whole dance move of this song in euphoria back in highschool :)

stargirl

That bright blue book you see above has been sitting at the back of my car the past few weeks..the turtle bought me a copy and insisted that i should read it--she says reading it is one of the most heartfelt experiences she ever had. I had my doubts, a small book that’s as thick as a cigarette pack and a stickfigure drawing of a girl with a star on top of it as its cover(it doesnt have a title), screams of chicklit to me or even worse its disguising itself as one of those "sweet valley high" or "sweet dreams" pocketbooks that every girl in my highschool used to read.

I kept coming back to turtle's passionately demands that i should read it. So out of a whim i started reading the first 30 pages last sunday...blah blah highschool, blah blah stargirl..blah blah unconventional ukulele playing chick..blah...individuality..this girl and guy are going to fall in love arent they? oh shit, this is a romance story! dammit..so i stopped

I got home early yesterday and saw the book on the floor-my cat probably played with it like with most of my disregarded things. I picked it up, lied down in bed and..opened page 30 and couldnt put it down.

Fuck you Jerry Spinelli, why do you have to produce such a great poetic allegorical tale about popularity and sincere individuality in 200 pages with words that are simple yet full of imagery!. Why do you have to create such a beautiful character that has to deal with "conformity" and all the pros and cons that go with it. Your book is both liberating (to the individual) and incredibly sad (for society), as it takes a true "individual," committed to her allegiance to the world, and shows how the typical person will gladly shun the unique qualities of others -- perhaps in an self-gratifying effort to remain "normal"

I admit, you won me over stargirl, i was staring at my ceiling for a good 10 minutes after i read that last heartfelt chapter thinking if someone like u do really exists-someone who totally disregards all these social taboos that keep us from expressing ourselves and caring for each other.

So, im on my way to powerbooks and ill buy a dozen copies of one of the most amazing books ive ever read and pass it on to friends--now i only have to worry how to convince them to go past page 30 :)

EQAF is not a valid word

i've started the facebook crack that is scrabulous with donna yesterday, i was up to a very early lead by hitting all the double words early in the game until she got smart and initiated the piggyback move..its where you conveniently place tiles on ur opponents existing words, thus my "naive" became "naivete", "wax" became her "rewax" and "bundt" became "bundts". Im now stuck with 4 vowels and a useless Q. I told her that ill progress my turn after a few hours, i have resorted to delaying tactics.

I've been drinking this redjuice that my sister recommended for cleaning and detox-i havent seen so much organic stuff put in one contraption--aloe, ginger, guava, leaves!?, tomato, cucumber, onion, other several nourishing sounding ingredents that i havent heard of and bark!?--you gotta have that bark, its the thing that binds it all... i had almost finished the bottle and yet i dont feel any healthier just a little more broke--the thing costs like a 100 dozen of zesto.

I have'nt done any yoga for months, been smoking close to a pack a day and my appetite for anything fried is getting out of control. The plan is july 10..that is the day when my baby sister is coming from SF, with those awful tasting nicotine lozenges. Everything seems to come into order the moment i quit smoking, except that my temper and irritation levels are on high alert.

Faye was on tv again yesterday, and you can see that the whole segment is irritating the shit out of her. The graphic showed a big triangle with lines crossed over inside making other triangles...viewers were asked how many total triangles were there--i counted around 24. So people called and kept answering 1...to which she replies "HINDI NGA YAN 1, baket hindi kayo nakikinig sa mga ibang sagot? mukhang 1 triangle ba yan!!, tingnan ninyo yun loob!". Her raising eyebows and smirks show defeat and hopelesness--it was cute and hilarious at the same time. I called her and she checked her phone while on tv and smiled, i didnt realize that it was live.

Ok...i have one big word, the comeback is on...but not after this afternoon.

Of surprises, mother teresa, limbo and woody allen

Just came home from a night that comes in 2 parts

Part 1

So the surprise party of our friend andy, came into fruition a couple of hours ago..you couldnt call it a surprise anymore--she already had an inkling that the thing was gonna take place to begin with...i had to go all the trouble by passing thru the back door. It wasnt an easy feat, thanks to carol's always cryptic instructions, i frustratingly got lost inside the building. Good thing that the food was amazing and 8 bottles of wine ready to be served is always a sight to behold.

When andy finally opened the door, everybody screams "SURPRISE" except me.. now, ive always shouted "SUPPLIES!!!" in every party that involves an attempt to make the person act in a way that she actually gets suprised--always thought it was more approriate for some reason.

There was this old lady who cornered me, pestering me why i broke off with carol and is giving me those relationship lessons that you always read on some discounted self help book. I nodded the whole time she talked, while trying to eavesdrop on che and lars conversation about sexual positions and how the dogstyle is only done if u dont respect your partner. I'm trying to find an excuse to stop being the only audience from the old lady's life coaching lecture and snuck in the more interesting conversation so i can fight the good fight on better sexual aesthetics--i dont think she'd want to join us in this.

After my failure at videoke and a few glasses of wine-i decided to make my way home and get some more metal gear action going. Then miguel called to tell me to hang out at the B.R.A. (bright red apartment) with them.

Part 2

So miguel, lee, lexie, pokerdude and trisha were all hanging out in the living room with 2 ashtray full of cigarette butts and a dozen of empty beer bottles--yet everyone is still in a talkative mood. I put in my ipod and played "a tribe called quest"--why dont they make rap music like this anymore.

Marcus texted me to check faye hosting on tv...she was hosting some text game show-its those shows where they show some silly game and ask people to text their answers and win money, this paricular segment-faye showed two pictures of lions and tells you to spot the difference between the two (the other lion was missing an eyebrow-call PETA!). Faye looked amazing, she has now long straight hair as opposed to the curly mane she used to have(lexie still claims that those are extensions) and she looks much healthier- running around hungary can do wonders i guess.

So i stirred up the conversation by telling them that i saw this documentary telling us that Mother Teresa is a fraud..pokerguy agrees and tells us that in her memoirs, she mentions that she was losing her faith--on her last days, when she saw people suffering, the old lady didnt see anything but emptiness. There was also the case for her "house of the dying" place, where she didnt put any money in it despite getting millions of donations(both from legit donors and crimainals/dictators)-she apparently invested most of the money into her own nun order. The house of the dying is still the same as it was 20 years ago--rows of worn out beds placed side by side in a cramped torn down building with people slowly dying, one filthy bathroom for everyone and no doctors present in the area-they werent allowed to be there to begin with. I felt that the vatican and mother theresa must have some symbiotic relationship. Its good PR for everyone

More into blasphemy talk, i just found out that the vatican had just recently issued a statement saying the "limbo" doesnt exist. So i guess all those poor dead babies are going to heaven after all-but how about all those parents who lost their infants from the past centuries where christianity was still such a big deal--they lived all their life in such despair knowing that their unbaptized kids were in some awfully hellish place--i know it was such a terrible vacation for all eternity to be in, from all the paintings our religion teachers forced us to stare at it. You know what im talking about--the one with the hill of fire with screaming people and the devil with his ubitiquous pitchfork showing us that he's the shit.

Miguel also told me about the other vatican press release saying that if ever we find out that there being from other planet, that they are still part of gods creation. Now, why would the church issue such statement--they must already made contact. Suck that NASA. Religion still kicks the shit out of science.

I left about the time we were all discussing that woody allen's masterwork is still "Bananas", that the clash is still timeless and that the biggest evidence that humans are polygamous in nature is that we're 98% chimpanzee dna and that the rationale why we have the guilty tendency of having only one partner has to do with of all things-posture.

I'm in my own dwelling now, yogurt in hand and still upset about the whole limbo thing. at least, im scratching that off on my destination list when im long gone. Now i only have hell to worry about :)