its about time for a poker post (and some colored fonts)

Emil confirmed last night at around 9pm that with Rocky playing, we had reached a quorum and the merville game was taking place.... Its been months since we all got together for some home poker action and despite the awfully loose game i displayed(and consequently a thousand pesos poorer), i still managed to be wildly entertained. While everyone else was playing the 33kbuyin at the cardroom, here we are arguing that a 20peso raise was too big for a 2-4 cash game.

I arrived there, bringing a box of the highest caloried donuts known to man..my intent was to make everyone have a sugar rush thus play aggressively loose while i only make my move when i have the best hand. Unfortunately, the donuts were virtually ignored by the quorum and I already had 2 of them while i was on the road...the plan backfired badly.

I was chasing every inside draw and calling with bottom pairs hoping i get trips on the turn on river, on a few occassions i hit them and it made me look like a genius, most of the time it just draws "huhs" and "what the..." from the rest of the table.

I have a strong connection to the merville game..this was the place where we originally came up with the the most comical banter for poker situations and the silliest aliases for our poker hands...here are a few of what we named our two cards and our own ridiculous justification why we named it as such:

5-6 suited is called audience impact because we deduced that of all the suited connectors you can get, this is the lowest you can call a raise with and getting a straight or a flush with this hand deserves at least an applause

Q5 is called star of the night because there was this one night that mitize kept playing this hand and without fail was getting trips against big pairs or getting a runner runner on ridiculous odds

J5 was baptized as the infamous johnny 5, and everytime you have it, u have to shout in your best short circuit impersonation "johnny five is allliivvveee". you can also add "more input ...stephanie" depending on the level of wastedness your currently in

10-3 is called charles bronson, we arrived in this because 10-2 is commonly recognized by every poker player as the doyle brunson... then obviouslly 10-3 is named after the star of death wish and its countless sequels

AA is Amy Austria

AK is Abe King

AJ is Ace Verjel

AQ is Beverly Verjel

A-10 is Al Tantay

Any suited club hand was called global warming ...as i logically explained with a series of simple predicates that is nothing short of genius. Clubs represent flowers, flowers are part of nature, nature is being destroyed because of pollution, pollution thus creates global warming. Therefore Clubs are global warming.

Adding to the confusion, we had a debate what is the strongest among the 4 suits...and the conversation went something like this:

Roe: so clubs are the strongest because its global warming?
Me: not necessarily, but it beats diamonds, because diamonds are part of the earth, and earth is being destroyed by global warming. thus clubs beats diamonds
Emil: but diamonds are forever, even in the event of global warming.
Me: your wrong, diamonds are forever, but hearts represents love and love conquers all

Roe: so let me get this right, the strongest suit is hearts, then clubs, then diamonds
Me: I think thats about right
Chito: where does spade fit in this
Me: Spade is the strongest of the suits
Roe: and why is that?
Me: because of the saying... a spade's a spade
(this was basically a cliffnotes version of the whole thing, the argument painfully went on for hours)

So, despite the low stakes, the almost non existence of poker etiquette and the consistent diversions from whats happening during a hand, where else can you speak and reference obscure pop culture anecdotes and everyone laughs hysterically every time. As one player famously asked the dealer to "roll vtr" to do the flop and screamed when he hit the nuts on the river "put him in a body bag!"